Supposed To Be
by kissables333
Summary: No matter how much he wanted it, they just weren't meant to be.
1. Chapter 1

"Want to stay over for a week during summer holiday?" James S. Potter prompted his fellow fifth year. "My mum insists, since I'm always over yours."

James Potter and Eli Cerin have been the best of friends since first year. Having both been sorted into Gryffindor, the pair shared classes, a room, and, as was eventually discovered, interests.

James and Eli shared an affinity for Quidditch—James being a Chaser and Eli the Seeker for their team—as well as an affinity for trouble. The pair had been inseparable from the start.

James Potter had his mother's brown eyes and his father's dark and messy hair. James grew up with two siblings and an extensive extended family that was constantly loving and constantly around.

Eli Cerin had his mother's searching eyes of amber and her wavy light brown hair. Eli grew up with no one but his mother, his uncle, and his aunt.

The two boys grew up in completely different homes but were strikingly similar in personality. Except Eli had a secret.

At night, as James slept soundly in the four-poster bed next to Eli's, Eli was awake with a diary in his lap. Night after night, Eli sat awake rereading the words of his mother. His eyes traced her neat cursive on page after page as he read the story of his mother's school life. His father's name had been harshly blocked out but Eli did not lose hope. He read her words again and again as he searched for some hidden clue about his father.

_I met a boy today. He's kind of awkward, but it's cute. There's something about him._

_I don't know. Maybe I'm just being silly. I don't know, but I just can't get him off my mind._

Eli's mother didn't mention the boy's name in the first entry. Eli could tell, however, that his mother was falling for this boy, even at the age of eleven. He thought that, maybe, this man could tell Eli more about his mother's life.

OOO

"Uncle Neville, James asked if I can stay over his house for a week during the holidays."

"James Potter?" Neville Longbottom shared a glance with his wife. "Have his parents agreed?"

"Yeah," Eli said as he speared a potato with his fork. "His mum insisted since James is always over here and I've never been over there."

"When?"

"Next week."

"I'm not sure if—"

"Come on, what's the harm?"

Neville hesitated as he refused to meet his charge's gaze. On one hand, Neville had made a promise to Eli's mother that he would perform the spell every evening. Eli had to be in proximity for the spell to work. On the other hand, Eli's mother had passed on four years ago. Although Neville and Hannah cared for Eli as if he was their own, nothing could compare to the connection Eli could have with his father.

Neville sighed, "Alright, you can go."

Eli did not expect how much this week would change his life.

OOO

Eli arrived at the Potter home shortly before six o'clock. He was greeted with a hug from Mrs. Potter and a handshake from Mr. Potter.

Soon, they sat down for dinner.

"What does your father do?" Mrs. Potter asked Eli.

"Never knew him." Eli replied, no longer uncomfortable speaking about his lack of a father after years of practice.

"I'm sorry." Mrs. Potter replied as a light pink decorated her cheeks.

"It's fine." Eli sent her a reassuring smile.

"Do you have any idea as to what you want to do after Hogwarts?" Mr. Potter asked, hoping to dispel the awkward air that had settled on the table.

"I want to be a healer and work at St. Mungo's."

"Why is that?" Mr. Potter asked curiously.

"My mum inspired me too. I want to help people live, I guess."

"What is your mother's name? I never caught it from James." Mrs. Potter asked.

"Katherine, but everyone called her Kat."

The harsh sound of a fork clattering against a plate gathered everyone's attention.

"Your mother is Kat Cerin?" Mr. Potter was staring at Eli intently now—searching the boy's face for traces of Kat.

"You knew her?" Eli asked in surprise through a mouthful of food.

Harry Potter was clearly avoiding his wife's sideways glance. "Yes." The man swallowed hard. "We went to school together. H-how is she?"

"She's dead. Died after my first year. Cancer."

Mr. Potter's pulse was pounding in his ears. "Dead?" he replied in disbelief. "I-…I'm sorry." he muttered.

"It's fine. I miss her, of course, but I live with my Uncle Neville and Aunt Hannah and I have a good life. Well, they aren't my real aunt and uncle, but my mum left me in their care when she died." Eli explained.

"Ah." Mr. Potter replied but was too lost in his thoughts to focus much on the rest of the conversation.

OOO

After dinner, Eli and James went up to James' room to talk about Quidditch while Lily and Albus went off to play together. Ginny was in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes.

Harry Potter sat alone at the dinner table with his head dropped in his hands.

Kat Cerin was dead.

How many years had it been since he spoke to her last?

Fifteen? Sixteen?

Sixteen years since—

Her _sixteen_ year old son was in his house.

Her _sixteen_ year old son was upstairs with his own son.

Her _sixteen_ year old son was best friends with James.

Sixteen. Sixteen. Sixteen.

It couldn't be true. The boy looked exactly like his mother. Not a trace of his father in Eli's face. The thought was impossible.

Guilt, none the less, clawed at him.

Harry knew what he had to do. It was crazy but it was the right thing to do.

Standing up, he pushed through the swinging door of the kitchen and gathered his thoughts as he watched his wife move.

"Gin…" he began quietly.

"No."

"Gin, come on. Neville is on a teacher's salary and Hannah only makes what she brings in at the Leaky Cauldron. We can afford to—"

"It's not about the cost, it's about her—"

"It's about our son's best friend." he insisted.

"It's about Kat. Everything is—"

"She's dead, Gin."

"She's dead and you're still in love with her."

"Ginny—"

"Why do you want to take him in?"

"Because he lost his mother and he doesn't…he doesn't know his dad. An aunt and an uncle—even ones who are as great as Neville and Hannah—aren't substitutes for parents. He's alone. Eli is like…Teddy. He's—"

Ginny sighed, "He's like you."

Harry sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I just think we can give him a loving home."

"Let's just…see how the week goes and go from there. Okay?"

Harry pulled his wife into his arms.

Harry didn't want to think about the possibility of Ginny being right.

He wasn't in love with Kat.

Kat was gone.

OOO

Harry did not sleep that night. How could he?

Kat's son was sleeping in the next room. How could he close his eyes even for a moment?

Harry was in a daze at the breakfast table; it was only when James spoke that Harry broke out of his trance.

"Eli, what happened to your eyes?"

"What do you mean?" the boy asked as he turned to his friend.

"They were amber yesterday and now they're…"

"Green." Harry muttered as his stomach wrenched. He knew those eyes. They were the very ones that stared back at him in the mirror.

He stood up forcefully from the table. "I've got to go to work." he muttered before quickly leaving the house.


	2. Chapter 2

Kat Korin found she couldn't breathe. It seemed her ability to function had left her completely.

"Hello." he had said.

"Hello." It was feat that she managed to get that word out.

That singular event encompassed the first time she met Harry Potter. That night as she sat in her bed in the Hufflepuff dormitories, she recorded the moment in her diary as the moment that changed everything. She knew there was something special about the boy beyond his scar. She knew he would change her life.

It took a week for Kat, a shy fifth year, to speak to Harry, a sixth year, again. A week after that they were dating.

Their entire relationship spanned the course of seven months. Every night, there was a new entry in her diary. Every new entry expressed the love she felt for the boy. She was in love with him. Kat Korin was sure he felt the same way. She was so very positive and thus she was blindsided when he broke up with her.

They were standing by the entrance to the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade when he ended it.

"Kat." The tone in his voice struck a deep, resonating chord in her heart; she took one look into his eyes and knew what was coming. Her knowledge of the words he was about to say moments before he said them did nothing to stop the pain the words caused.

"I think we should see other people." he had said. He had issued forth the words as if they mattered not. Later, Kat would think for months on end that she had never meant anything to him at all.

"Why?" As her heart broke, that was all she wanted to know. Why?

"People fall in and out of love at different times, Kat. I just—"

"Fell out of it before I did." she muttered. Nodding her head slowly, she had turned from him and went back to her dormitory. She didn't leave for the rest of the weekend.

A week later, when Kat witnessed the kiss between Ginny Weasley and Harry on the Quidditch Pitch in front of the entire school, Kat got her diary and erased Harry's name from the little book.

Kat Korin did not speak to Harry Potter again. After Dumbledore's funeral, the next time she saw him was a few years later.

An older and wiser Kat Korin entered the Leaky Cauldron with a throbbing headache and a pain in her heart that would not go away. She hoped to drink away the ache in her heart that was too painful to deal with sober.

"The usual, Kat?" The barman asked.

"Just a water, for now." She was trying to start slow that night.

Sitting down at the bar, a slumped figure staring at a glass of fire whiskey caught her attention. She knew him in an instant. As Kat stood and made her way to him, every fiber of her being screamed that it was a bad idea to speak to him. She had not seen him for years and that was still not enough time to forget him. That was not enough time to stop the fresh pain in her heart every time he saw her.

Still, she took the empty seat next to him and said, "Harry?"

The next morning, she woke up to a steady rhythm of footsteps. He was pacing.

"Tell me we didn't." she asked of him.

"We did." he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Look, you don't have to tell Ginny.

"What?"

"I mean…it was just a mistake. You don't have to tell her."

"Kat—"

"Harry, I…" She didn't expect it would hurt so much to see him again. She never thought he would be hers again, even for just a moment. It was so painful. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Kat, there's—"

"I didn't expect this." she said quietly.

"Kat, just let me explain!"

"Harry—"

"Ginny and I are separated."

"What— why?"

He had sighed. "It wasn't right."

"Don't say that Harry." she murmured as she threw back the covers and began putting her clothes on. "She's your wife."

"We're getting divorced." he let out. "I don't wear my ring anymore.

"How long?"

"About a month and a half."

"Why?"

"I never thought I loved her. I just tried to make it work."

"You can't give up on your marriage, Harry."

"You don't understand. Ginny and I aren't meant for each other."

"You just think that because things are hard—"

"It wasn't supposed to be like this. Just...just know that."

"Harry—"

"No, _honestly_. It was never her. It was always you; it is you. It'll always be you."

"Please don't—"

"We're getting a divorce because it's not working out. It's not her."

"You shouldn't—"

"I want to be with you! Not her! And now...now we can be."

"Harry—"

"We just slept together, you should want to be with me!" She did. She wanted to be with him more than anything. And so she and Harry became a couple again.

For a brilliant month and a half, she and Harry were happy. Until the day came where it had to end.

Rolling over in bed, Harry spotted the barn owl tapping on the window. Standing up with a sigh and leaving the warm sanctity of the bed, Harry meandered over to the window.

Kat awoke to an empty bed. Sitting up and stretching, she glanced around the room and her eyes landed on Harry sitting on a chair, staring down at the letter in his hand. He was running his hand through his already messy hair as he always did when he was stressed.

"Good morning." Kat said quietly. "Is everything alright?"

Harry tore his eyes away from the familiar handwriting that expanded across the parchment.

"Gin's..." he seemed lost for words as he took in the woman lying under the dark blue sheets before him. Harry wanted to marry Kat. He wanted to be with her forever and make up for the time they'd lost since their school days. The letter, however, put an end to all of his dreams involving Kat.

"Ginny's what, Harry?" Kat asked as she got out of bed and walked over to Harry. She placed a warm hand on his comfortingly as her brow furrowed in concern. "Is she alright?"

That was one of the things he loved about Kat. She always thought of others. Harry's formerly-soon-to-be-ex-wife writes a letter to Harry and Kat was worried about her health. Kat was too kind to him and to everyone. All he gave her in return was heartbreak.

"She's three months pregnant."

Kat's heart plummeted in her chest. Kat knew in that moment that it was the end.

"Oh." she muttered as she removed her hand from Harry's. He was never hers, anyway. They were never meant for each other.

"It doesn't have to—"

Kat had smiled sadly at his attempt. She moved slowly and sat at the end of the bed they would no longer share. Clasping her hands tightly in her lap, she knew it had to end.

"You grew up without a father, Harry. You can't do that to your own child—not when you can help it. You know it's true."

"Kat—"

"Ginny needs you."

"_I_ need _you_."

"Your child needs you."

"Kat, I love you." he tried beseechingly but she would not listen. She had already sealed her heart off from him.

"People fall in and out of love at different times, Harry. Six more months will go by quickly. You'll see your kid and you'll see Ginny holding your kid and you'll love _her_. She's still your wife, Harry. Go back to her; she needs you."

"How can you throw this away?" he yelled, mad that she was giving up so easily.

"We don't have a choice, Harry!" she yelled in return, mad that he couldn't let her go as he had done so easily before.

"Yes we can. We can get married. We can have our own family—"

"And what about Ginny and your child?"

"I'll...I'll—" Harry knew she was right. He would feel guilty for the rest of his life if he wasn't a part of his child's life daily. He couldn't let her go so easily.

"We have to move on."

"I can't."

"You haven't tried."

"I'd been trying since my sixth year. Clearly that didn't work out all that well."

"Things are different now."

"Kat, I love you."

"Telling me that only makes this harder."

"I don't care. It's true."

"Please don't make this harder for me. Please, Harry. It was bad enough at school. I had to see you two walking around, holding hands, snogging—"

"That was to protect you—"

"I know that, Harry. But don't you see how much worse this will be? She's not just your girlfriend anymore, Harry. Ginny is your wife and she's going to have your kid."

"It wasn't supposed to be like this, I swear."

"It is though."

"I wanted to marry you."

"Harry, please. Just go back to Ginny."

The man bit his lip and nodded. He went toward the bedroom door but stopped with his hand on the doorknob.

"Just tell me, please. If I had asked, what would you have said?"

There was moment of silence and he was sure she wouldn't answer.

"Yes."

Clenching his jaw, he fought back the tears that gathered in his eyes. He left the bedroom and closed the door quietly behind him. He had his answer; he knew what could've been—he knew what he could've had. Somehow knowing was worse than not knowing. The pain of loss took over his heart as he took in all that he would never have with her. He would never get over Kat Korin, he decided. Never.

Standing alone in the bedroom they would never again share, Kat's hands rested on her stomach. She was going to tell him that day. Harry could never know about the baby that was growing in her stomach. She could compensate for her child's lack of a father. Her child would never be wanting. Kat loved Harry with all her heart but she knew she could not have him. If her child asked why the father was never around, she would simply have to say that the relationship between herself and her child's father was not supposed to be.


	3. Chapter 3

**The end.**

* * *

"Is something wrong with Eli?" Neville asked as he walked quickly into Harry's office. He had received an owl from his old friend. The letter said it was urgent.

"His eyes are green." Harry replied with his hands covering his face. "They were amber when he came into my home on yesterday."

"I know."

"What happened, Neville?" Harry peered through his hands at the man.

"Kat didn't want to see the eyes of Eli's father every day. She changed his eye color, but as you know, she wasn't the best at Charms. The spell has to be performed daily. When it isn't, his eyes revert back to their real color."

"Who is Eli's father?" Harry knew the answer. He knew it. Harry had always known it from the moment he discovered who Eli's mother was.

"Harry, you know you don't have to ask me that."

"Just…tell me."

"Harry, you know the truth. His eyes. He excels at Defense against the Dark Arts. He gets into trouble all the time. He is the bloody Seeker on the Gryffindor team."

"It can't be."

He knew it was true. Eli was his son. There was no point in denying that fact.

"Just because you can't accept it—"

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"Kat knew you didn't have a place for her in your life."

Kat. Beautiful, caring, loving Kat.

She always put everyone ahead of herself.

"Did she suffer?" he managed to choke out at the thought of her.

"From the cancer? As minimally as could be hoped for." Neville paused before delivering the truth to the man before him. "From you? More than you deserve."

Harry squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "It wasn't supposed to be like this." he whispered.

"But it is and you owe Eli the truth."

"I have a wife and kids, Neville. How is Ginny going to—"

"You should've thought about that before you—"

"This wasn't supposed to happen!"

"Then you shouldn't have slept with her!"

"No! I didn't mean Eli and Kat…we weren't supposed to be like this." Harry was barely able to suppress a sob that threatened to escape him. "It was supposed to be Kat and I. We were never supposed to end!"

"Harry—"

"I never should have let her go, Neville. I have lived with the fact that I lost her for years. I didn't…I didn't know she was dead. I thought…I thought she moved on and married someone who deserved her! Never…never did I think she was…."

"You don't have to—"

"I was in love with her. I still am. And I know that Eli might not want to stay with me but I have to get to know him. I have to. If he doesn't want to live with me, I want to know him."

OOO

Harry sat in awkward silence across the dinner table from Eli Cerin. Harry had told Ginny the truth. He hadn't cheated on her but his words only confirmed what she already knew. He could never love her like he loved Kat. She would always have the biggest and truest place in his heart. Ginny had taken the kids out to dinner for the night so that Harry could speak to Eli alone.

"I…knew your mother at school."

Eli looked apprehensive to be sitting with his friend's father. He didn't know why Mr. Potter had wanted to speak with him.

"She was a fifth year Hufflepuff and I was a sixth year. I had never seen someone so beautiful…We…dated for seven months." Eli's eyes, which had been wondered about the room for a distraction, flew to catch Mr. Potter's gaze at his words.

"You dated? So…you're….you're the one she wrote about! You must know who my father is!" Eli exclaimed in excitement. "Who was he?"

"Eli…your mother and I dated and we…I loved her with everything I had but I couldn't protect her. I ended it because I was afraid Voldemort would hurt her to get to me. I had to end it to protect her." Harry ran his fingers through his hair—needing something to distract himself. "I didn't see her again for a few years. When I did see her again…Ginny—James' mom—and I were separated and we were going to get a divorce. This was about…sixteen years ago."

Comprehension dawned on the teenager's face. Slowly he began shaking his head as he stood from the table.

"We were together…until I found out that Ginny was pregnant with James. She…Kat told me to be with Ginny. Eli, you must understand I didn't know about you and…I loved—"

The teen could not stand to hear anymore. "You abandoned her!"

"I didn't know she was pregnant. If I knew about you—"

"This isn't about me." Eli shoo his head. "_I_ didn't need you but she did!"

"Eli—"

"_I_ don't need you. She needed you. She was dying! You could've saved her."

"I can't cure cancer, Eli." Harry whispered—knowing he deserved the onslaught of angry words being thrown at him.

"You broke her heart. She didn't want to live."

"Eli, your mother—"

"You don't even know her. You haven't known her in years."

"I…Eli, I had a wife—"

"You had an affair. You used her and you never cared—"

Harry could not take that. "Never say that I didn't care about your mom. I loved her. I still love her. I loved her from the first moment I met her but we never stood a chance. I was separated from Ginny when we—…when we met again. I found out Ginny was pregnant and I wanted to stay with Kat. I wanted to be with her but she told me I couldn't do that to my kid. I didn't know she was pregnant too. She didn't tell me."

"Just because you didn't know doesn't make it okay."

"I know. And I can't make up for what I did to her. But I think Kat would've wanted—"

"You don't know what she wanted! You knew her sixteen years ago!"

"Contrary to what you may believe, Eli, I knew Kat well. More than anyone else, except maybe Neville. I know that she didn't tell me about you because she didn't want to interfere with my family. But I know that she would want us to have a relationship."

"I'm going back to Uncle Neville's—"

"Eli, please—"

"Don't pretend you care now."

"I love your mother. She was the most amazing person. I know you don't believe me and I know you will never understand how many times I look at Ginny and wish things were different. And I know that makes me a terrible person. I'm wrecked with guilt for wishing things were different. I love James and Albus and Lily and I wouldn't trade them but I wish I never let your mother go. You can hate me all you want, Eli. Whether or not you believe me, I loved your mother. Ever since we ended in sixth year, I've known it wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't Ginny. It was your mother I needed but...—"

"But you gave her up. You let her go—"

"For her own safety! She couldn't protect herself! If Voldemort decided to attack her to get to me, she wouldn't be able to protect herself!"

"You could've stayed with her! You could've—"

"You know the story, Eli. I couldn't stay with her. I...Voldemort picked me. I...I was the only thing standing between him and hurting everyone. I couldn't let him."

"What if things were different?"

"What do you mean, Eli?"

"What if...you were just another boy at Hogwarts without a scar? What if you weren't The Boy Who Lived and Ginny was just Ginny and not the mother of James and Kat was just Kat. Who would you pick?

"Kat." he replied without hesitation.

Eli stared into the man's eyes. This was his father. He was staring into a mirror reflection of his own eyes. "You know, the last thing she said to me was about you. She saw the look in my eyes and knew that I was thinking about how things might've been different if my dad was around. She said, 'He was a good man. He always tried to help everyone, no matter what it cost him.' I tried to interrupt but she went on. 'He was a good man. It just wasn't in the cards for us. Eli, don't hate him and please don't hate me.' I told her I never could. She said she loved me and then she died." Eli shook his head again in disbelief, "She still loved you! After everything!"

"Eli—"

"What sucks is that she wouldn't want me to hate you."

"I know I can't make it right. You don't have to like me or call me Dad. You don't have to leave Neville's if you don't' want to. Just know that I…loved Kat. When we were younger, I ended it to protect her. I never thought I'd see her again. If things were different, maybe we might've lasted but I can't change what happened. I wake up every morning with pain in my chest because I know I lost her a long time ago. All I'm asking is don't shut me out. Let me get to know you…for Kat—for your mum."

Harry stuck his hand to his son.

Eli looked at it appraisingly for a moment before nodding. "For my mum." Eli took his father's hand and shook it firmly while meeting his gaze.


End file.
